I Come Back I Am Fine But...


It was 31st August 2015 when I put my first step on the ground of my hometown Pakistan. It was 9:15 am, I entered home to see my mothers smile. She was lying on the bed facing towards a wall waiting for me. My heart was beating fast. My eyes faded when I saw her she was not the same when I left her last time. Whenever I met her she use to have a big smile on her face, opening her arms to give me tight hug and say, "tiya… My eyes don't cry but my heart is." First time she cried very hard, it felt like she was waiting for me for ages.

When I saw her my mind was constantly thinking, OK she is not well, her stomach is swollen, she can't get up, she can't walk, she is in pain but she will recover stop thinking negative, be strong and positive because if you become weak who will make her strong. That was the voice of my soul telling my brain, "Faith is the key for each door."

When I hugged you mom I never knew this moment will be the last moment. What you have been through only God and you know but the two months I spent with you, are the memorable days for me' God, you and me knows that how hard those ten days were. Day and night, you were in pain. If Allah subhanahu WA ta'ala had given us, the opportunity to divide the pain I would happily took it from you, I couldn't. However every hour of those ten days, I truly learned helplessness.

Those last breaths of yours' that time, I wanted the Earth to open up for me too but your smiley face was telling me that now you are in peace. I am very thankful to God He give me the biggest opportunity to look after you and to put you in your real home. Mother (peace and blessings be upon you) I know you are in much better place now. Remembering your wonderful and gentle soul will forever remain in my heart. May you rest in peace!

I not only lost my Mother but a friend and a sister. I know, no one can replace Mothers love. I know, the door between us is now closed but I will be standing right there with the bunch of prayer for you Ammi Jaan. I cannot wait for it to be open!
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